The 5 People During Finals… Exposed


Kaylee Coquyt, Journalist

The flowers are blooming, the sun is coming out and summer is nearing closer and closer every day… *sigh of relief*.


Unfortunately much like the current weather, this is just the calm before another storm.


Finals are coming, and boy are they coming fast!


Next Monday and Tuesday you will find me personally in some sort of pajamas as I truck through finals. But we all have different coping mechanisms when it comes to school work and finals studying.


So here we go, different people during finals and how to… Not be that person.


Let’s start with someone very common. Your classic Dilly Dally Sally. These are the people that do more work than they have all year in this last week.


The rest of the year you can find them in their natural habitat: In class… distracting the general population of the room with their attention span as long as a goldfish’s. Or as far away from any school work as possible. Generally, the first person that finds out how to get to Netflix and Spotify even though they’re blocked ;).


You know who you are.


Not to call anyone out but uhh… Kaylee Coquyt, it’s time to stop with this! Don’t argue with me! Put down the ice cream and get to work! You have two more school days left, THAT’S your motivation!


Moving on to, I have to say it… My LEAST favorite! The Taylor Swiftly. I’m tellin you, these are the troublemakers! The ones that get the work and about 10 seconds later it’s done! Wizards!


How?! Can someone explain how one can just sit there and like… Do the thing! See the Sallys of the world just want to steal their wizarding wands and run.


The one we envy for sitting in class actually get this, PAYING ATTENTION!


Is a person able to grow and attention span because I want one like that!


If you are this person, good for you! Can I borrow your brain cells?


Moving forward though, Overkill Bill. Bill might need to borrow some cells too because his have been worked too hard. Bill probably has a lot of anxiety about finals and that’s why he studies so hard for so long.


Studying is good, yes. But too much studying will break your brain < That’s a fact. Bill, for the love of everything holy, take a break! Get some vitamin D (sun) you’re paling from being inside so long with those dreadful books!


Along with Overkill Bill, you will more than likely find a Stressy Jessie. She’s a little wild. Very emotional. The person that will probably post about finals on their snapchat. How it’s the most stressful thing to ever happen or a classic “I’m literally crying from stress rn”.


Stressy Jessie… You’ve been exposed.


I can say with great confidence finals PROBABLY won’t kill you. Don’t stress too much. It will be a-ok. Imagine this, summer is in two more school days! Don’t lose your marbles!


Here’s the person I really need to have a talk with. Denial Daniel. Denial (the Nile) is NOT just a river in Egypt. And let me tell you Daniel is in it, no not the river.


Here’s the thing Daniel, finals ARE next week and you DO need to accept that and probably should do something to prepare.


Daniel is not worried about testing as far as anyone can tell. No stress, no Anxiety, nothing… how? DENIAL!


It’s happening so if I were you I’d pull a Sally and get it done last minute.


Now that everyone has been exposed (including myself) let me take a moment to wish all of you, whoever you are, much luck on finals.


Whether you’re a Sally, Taylor, Bill, Jessie, or Daniel you’re a smarty and you’ll kick some grass!

(This photo was graciously taken by my wonderful Madre who made me a finals survival kit)